At a busy airport departure counter a bloke rushed up ignoring the queues and said, “I’m on the 8.30 flight. Has it gone?” “Sorry, sir, that flight has departed,” the departure clerk advised. “But I’m in first class,” the man insisted, “doesn’t that make a difference?” “No, sir,” the clerk replied. “Both classes left at the same time!”
I was walking down Parker Street the other day when a young fan of mine came up to me and said he had a question for me. “What did the young spider want to be when she grew up?” I had a couple of unsuccessful guesses before he told me, “A web designer!” And the same young fellow asked me if I knew frogs kept their money in river-banks!! T
ough boss: Bruised and bandaged a worker arrived at the office an hour late. “Where have you been?” yelled his boss. “I fell down a flight of stairs,” explained the worker. “And that took you a whole hour?” said the boss.
A little boy showed his dad his report card which wasn’t very good. “Dad,” said the boy. “If you buy me an encyclopaedia, I’m sure I would do much better in school.” “Encyclopaedia!” roared his dad. “What nonsense! You can walk to school like all the other kids!” Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” Client: “Okay.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Client: “No.” Tech Support: “Okay, right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?” Client: “No.” Tech Support: “Okay, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?” Client: “Sure – you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click!’
A ten-year-old boy was insisting his parents allow him to play in their Trivial Pursuit as he knew all the answers. Finally, they agreed and asked him the next question – “Who is known as the father of Western Philosophy”. The boy had a winning look on his face when he answered, “John Wayne!”
Emerging after treatment by a chiropractor, a young bloke announced in the waiting room, “I feel like a new man.” “I do too,” a middle-aged woman responded, “but I’ll probably go home with the same old one!” “CP”